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Writer's pictureKristen MF Clark

Life Beyond Debates

Updated: Sep 21

Enter Law of Attraction, Law of Assumption, Non-Duality, Quantum, and all-around Metaphysical/Spiritual KMFC. She fully embraces that there is far more power within “Isn’t that just beautiful.” than within “I’m going to buckle down and get it done.”


Now enter personal trainer, gym-rat, carnivore, mountain climber, physical accomplishment KMFC who trusts and submerges within the pride that comes from discipline, hard-work results, and the joy of pushing upstream.


While I adore both these versions of me and eagerly embody both with gusto - the truth is I sometimes feel as if they undermine the other. That they are like oil and water. Am I destined to constantly flip-flop between the two, forever dividing aspects of myself, thus creating a world that reflects that tension and disconnection? (Think the current presidential debate.)


This realization brought me to a powerful turning point, recognizing the tension between these two parts of myself—the disciplined, controlling aspect and the softer, joyful side—and deciding that they can coexist in harmony. It’s time. They can easily, and eagerly, support and boost one another, becoming allies for my greater good.


It’s time to move beyond the separation, beyond the constant inner debate - and move into peace, balance, and the building up of coexistence:


If you’ve read this far and something in you is sitting up and saying, “Yes!” - then here is some small steps to make this powerful move:


  1. Recognizing Their Strengths

Both sides bring something valuable to the table:

  • The strict, controlling side offers discipline, structure, and the drive to push through challenges. It takes pride in the hard work it takes to achieve tangible results.

  • On the other hand, the softer side is all about joy, ease, and flow. This is where the creativity and intuition come to life, reminding us that not everything has to be a grind—sometimes letting go allows things to unfold in surprising, beautiful ways.

Neither side is "wrong." They each hold wisdom but may have come to believe their way is the only way. By acknowledging that both are equally important, we can start to dissolve the tension between them.


2. Reframing Trust

The fear that one side will undermine the other stems from the belief that they're working against each other. To bridge this gap, I reframe their relationship:

  • The control side isn’t there to squash my softer side—it’s there to provide structure and accountability, making sure I stay on track toward my goals.

  • The softer side isn’t about laziness. It's about alignment with joy and ease, which are essential for sustainable energy and creativity. It offers rest, trust, and intuition to complement my discipline.

Instead of seeing them as oil and water, I can start to view them as yin and yang—two complementary forces that balance each other. When the control side feels burnt out, the softer side can provide rest and inspiration. When the softer side feels too unstructured, the control side steps in to provide focus.


3. Building Mutual Trust

To help these two aspects of myself work together, I practice a few things:

  • Inner dialogue: In moments of doubt, I can visualize these parts of myself having a conversation. Let each express its fears and desires. For example, the control side might say, “I’m afraid we’ll lose momentum if we don’t keep pushing,” while the softer side could respond, “I believe that joy and alignment will bring results effortlessly.” This kind of inner dialogue creates understanding.

  • Evidence of success: I can remind both sides of their past successes. When has pushing through helped me? When has leaning into joy brought unexpected results? Showing them that both have worked in the past can build trust.

  • Small experiments: I don’t have to choose between them. I can start by blending their strengths. For example, when starting a new project, I can let my softer side pick tasks that feel joyful, then allow my control side to structure the process. It’s about letting both energies work together.


4. Trust the Process

The breakthrough comes from trusting that both sides are working toward the same goal: my growth, joy, and success. My strict control side wants the best for me, just like my softer side does. Neither one is sabotaging me—they just have different ways of getting there.


As I practice balancing both, I’ll start to see that ease and effort can coexist. Sometimes, pushing through feels right and empowering; other times, stepping back and letting go is even more productive.


5. Reaffirm the Bigger Picture

In the end, both sides are serving the same greater purpose: living a fulfilling, abundant, and joyful life. Recognizing that hard work doesn’t have to exclude joy, and joy doesn’t diminish accomplishment, allows these aspects of myself to become allies, not opposites.



💋KMFC

The synchronicity of my current interaction with my world being turned upside down by a heatwave fueled wildfire only to return home to freezing temps and rain isn’t lost on me. Enter this blog and Ying and Yang images. Ah, life…😉


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