I Didn’t Need to Capture the Lightning. I Am the Storm.

I almost missed the miracle. 

For a long time, I thought I needed to capture every a-ha moment — flashcard it, journal it, hold onto it before it slipped away. 

But the truth hit harder than anything I could have written down: 

I was never carrying the knowing. The knowing was carrying me.

Here’s what broke through.

There’s a moment after an epiphany where I panic. 

I feel it. 

The pulse quickens. 

The hands reach, searching for something, anything, to hold onto it.

Write it down. 

Make a flashcard. 

Save it before it dissolves.

It’s human. 

It’s beautiful. 

And maybe — it’s unnecessary.

Lightning was never meant to be captured. 

It wasn’t born for cages.

I scramble sometimes, brushing the dirt from a new realization like an archaeologist terrified the artifact will crumble if I don’t archive it fast enough. But I’m not an archaeologist, and my breakthroughs are not relics of a forgotten self.

I am still burning. 

Still storming. 

Still becoming.

I cannot lose what I am.

Every flash of brilliance, every crack of realization, is not an object I found. 

It is a roar of myself breaking through the clouds —  a thunderclap of the Original Original speaking not to me, but as me.

The franticness to capture it isn’t failure. 

It’s proof of aliveness.

It’s my body feeling, for just a second, the infinite uncontainable force it is, and mistaking it for something I need to trap before it disappears.

But what if nothing needs to be caught?

What if the strike was never separate from the hand that hurled it?

What if the a-ha wasn’t a souvenir to carry home, but the living proof that home was already inside me?

If every flashcard I ever made burned to ash, if every journal and every note disappeared into smoke, I would remain.

Because I was never carrying the knowing. 

The knowing has been carrying me all along.

And I will keep roaring, 

I will keep breaking open the sky, long after every pen has fallen silent.

#bebold

⚡️Written by Kristen Clark — Me-taphysical disruptor and unapologetic storm-walker.